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MURHPY’S LAWS OF COMBAT
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If the enemy is in range, so are you.
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Incoming fire has the right of way.
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Don’t look conspicuous; it draws fire.
( For this reason aircraft carriers have been called “Bomb Magnets”) -
There is always a way.
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The easy way is always mined.
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Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
( Trivia devotees will recall the sudden disappearance of rank and
distinctive caps on the uniforms worn by Soviet officers in
Afghanistan) -
Professionals are predictable, it’s the amateurs that are dangerous.
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The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
a. when you’re ready for them.
b. when you’re not ready for them. -
Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.
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If you can’t remember, then the claymore is pointed at you.
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The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.
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A “sucking chest wound” is nature’s way of telling you to slow down.
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If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
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Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
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Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
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Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won’t be able to
get out.
( This seems to be the guiding design principle behind the Soviet’s
BMP and our Bradley infantry vehicle, both of which nicely package the
troops in armored boxes for group destruction) -
Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
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If you’re short of everything but the enemy, you’re in a combat zone.
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When you have secured an area, don’t forget to tell the enemy.
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Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.
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Friendly fire isn’t.
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If the sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
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Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never
stay awake when you can sleep. -
The most dangerous thing in the world is a second lieutenant with a map
and a compass. -
There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
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A grenade with a seven second fuse will always burn down in four seconds.
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Remember, a retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.
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If at first you don’t succeed call in an air-strike.
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Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan.
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Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the
colonel’s HQ. -
The enemy never takes notice until you make a mistake.
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One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.
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A clean (and dry) set of BDU’s is a magnet for mud and rain.
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Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low
on ammo, you can’t hit the broad side of a barn. -
The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to
be repaired. -
Field experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
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Interchangeable parts aren’t.
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No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.
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If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove ANYTHING.
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For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. (in boot camp)
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The one item you need is always in short supply.
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The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
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The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the
weapon’s operator. -
Airstrikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.
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When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most
important ones are always illegible. -
Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA.
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The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don’t know what
they want, but they know for certain what they DON’T want. -
To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal
information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence. -
The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60.
-
The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that
billet is filled by someone else. -
When you have sufficient supplies & ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to
attack. When you are low on supplies & ammo the enemy decides to attack
that night. -
The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the
Medal Of Honor. -
A Purple Heart just goes to prove that were you smart enough to think
of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and luck enough to survive. -
Murphy was a grunt.
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You aren’t Superman. (Freshly graduated recruits from Marine boot camp,
and all fighter pilots, especially, take note) -
Suppressive fires - won’t.
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If it’s stupid but it works, it isn’t stupid.
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When in doubt empty the magazine.
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No plan survives the first contact intact.
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If you are forward of your position, the artillery will fall short.
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The important things are always simple.
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The simple things are always hard.
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No-combat ready group has passed inspection.
Note: No marine unit has ever failed a combat readiness inspection,
which suggests peacetime inspections are readiness as mess hall food
is cuisine) -
Beer Math → 2 beers time 37 men equals 49 cases.
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Body count math → 3 guerrillas plus 1 probable plus 2 pigs equals 37
enemies killed in action. -
Things that must be together to work, usually can’t be shipped together.
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Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately.
(Corollary: Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and
especially during both) -
Tracers work both ways.
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The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming
friendly fire. -
If you take more than your share of objectives, you will have more
than your fair share to take. -
When both sides are convinced they are about to lose, they’re both right.
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The enemy never monitors your radio traffic until you broadcast on an
unsecure channel. -
Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades
always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands at your feet. -
As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains.
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Never tell the platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
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The seriousness of a wound is inversely proportional to the distance to
the nearest form of cover. -
Walking point = sniper bait.
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Your bivouac for the night is the spot where you got tired of marching
that day. -
If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually
a stupid solution. -
Recoiless weapons aren’t.
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Suppressive fire works on everything but the enemy.
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All or any of the above combined
ma murphy je kralj..